"A Chance To Be A Man" Part 2

One of the most not talked about parts of growing up without a father in the home, is the "absent heart" of a father.  What I mean by this is: a father is physically in the home, but his heart and mind are not in the home. 

Most of us have heard stories and points of views of people who grew up not knowing who their fathers were, or how they knew who they were, but they were just not around.

But not so often do we here about the effects of not getting the attention, love, and care that a child so desparately needs growing up, even when the father is in the home.  Often times, this can feel worse than the father not actually being in the home.  It can make a person wonder if there is something wrong with them, or if they have done something wrong to receive this lack of attention.

Something that seems so small to an adult, can mean the world to a young man, and have a huge impact on his "chance to be a man".  It can be going outside to throw the football, a trip to the movies, or just a special time set aside where a son has his father's undivided attention.

This unspoken void has contributed to low self esteem, depression, addictions, and a general feeling of identity crisis in the lives of many young males.  Young boys grow up and turn into young men, often blaming their fathers for the many shortcomings in life.

This process, this cycle, continues to go on, from generation to generation.  Pride, fear, and an overall feeling of vulnerability prevents men from talking about these feelings. 

When a boy grows up lacking the skills, the knowlege, and the example;  it seems like it lessens his chance, "a chance to be a man".

Let us be mindful to break this cycle, and talk about it, to give our sons a "chance"!