Needs, Haves, And Wants

What is the driving force that makes people do things in life?  In every area of our lives we have different things that motivate and inspire us to make the decisions that we make.

I was sitting down thinking about all the things I do on a daily basis.  I came to the conclusion that there are 3 basic reasons that motivate us to do what we do.

1. Have to's-  A majority of our daily tasks consist of things that we feel that we "have to" do.  We have to go to work, have to take care of our kids, and so on and so on....
2.  Need to's- This is where is starts to get more oppressive.  Things we simply do out of need, but we don't necessarily want to.  "Need to" pay a bill, "need to" make ends meet, "need to" buy some time, etc....
3. Want to's- This I mean in the most positive light.  These are things that we have a strong desire to do that comes from within, without the influence or pressure from things outside yourself.

It is my opinion that we need to strive to do more things because we want to.  So many of our choices are made due to oppressive needs and things that we feel we have to do.  Most of these decisions are made out of fear.

When I thought about these main driving forces, I was thinking about my relationship with my wife.  I don't need my wife, I want my wife.  I am not still married because a piece of paper says I "have to".   After 4 years of ups and downs, successes and failures, I am still married today because I "want to".

But how many of us are in relationships because we feel that we "need" a man or a woman?  How many women tough it out because they feel they "have to" for the kids?

How many of us wake up in the morning and go to a job because we "need" to make a certain amount of money?

Can you count the hours out of the day that you don't do things because you "have to"?

By no means am I saying to neglect our responsibilities in life.  But there has to be a time where we step back and look at the quality of our every day lives and strive for improvement.

Let us take steps to do things that we really, really, really, want to do.  From relationships, to careers, down to just how the hours of your day is spent;  It feels good when the driving force behind it is because you really want to!

"Simply Put"

My Wife, Nicole "Cakes" Willis

My heart.  That is what you are.  How can you love someone so much that it gives them the power to make you the happiest and to hurt you the most?  I trust you with my heart and the power of it's vulnerability in your hands.

My mind. That is what you have.  I often have said that you have to love someone, and they have to be what you want in order for "it" to work.  I made up my mind a long time ago that you are what I want.

My Life.  That is what I give to you.  You are my lover, my partner, and my friend.  I look forward to our future together.

What means more than flowers, cards, and candy?  What can top dinner reservations for two? With all that I am, all that I have, I tell the world, simply put, I Love You!

"the Gap Generation"

It's the largest population of people in the United States.  An age group that's the bread and butter of most pillars of society.  Most athletes, singers, and artists are in "the Gap".

"the Gap" is a generation that doesn't know how it "used to be",  doesn't like how "it is", but knows how it "should be".

We are starting families, starting businesses, and shaping culture on a daily basis.  Also, we are a group of people who have moved from one phase of life but are not necessarily used to this current phase of life.

"The Gap" generation is the most unreached age group by most churches, religions, and faith based groups, but in my opinion, the one's who need the most spiritual guidance.  But why is this?  How is it that the largest population of people, who are some of the most innovative, creative, and influential people in the world, be the most overlooked by spiritual guidance?

I think that as a whole, we have been turned off by religion and have seen the many inconsistencies of church as we know it.  Also, when we became adults, moved out of our parents houses, and started making decisions for ourselves, we were so tired of all the rules and regulations, seemingly attempted mind control, and simply things that didn't make any sense, that we never returned to the religions that we left.

Another thing is, most churches and religious organizations have a youth ministry or teen group, but when teens turn 18, they often go into adulthood with no spiritual direction from the church.  So you go from a teen group, then are faced with the "adult world" with little "adult spiritual direction".

This is why I call it "the Gap".  If you walk in most churches and religious organizations, you will see youth, who are mostly forced to come by their parents, and people who are usually 35 and older; who have made their mistakes in life, and decided that they can't make it on their own.  Then you have this huge gap in age. Sure you have some young adults in the "house", but many times they feel like outcasts and long for things that are relevant to their everyday lives.

I see some really awesome young adult groups here and there, and wish there were more outlets for this age group.

I am passionate about reaching the 18-35 age group, and providing spiritual guidance and knowledge of The Kingdom of God.  Like the bible says, "the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few".  If we are going to reach "us", then it's going to be up to us.  Let's use this desire and passion we have to plant groups to reach this generation around the world.

"Stop Bradying"

Nobody likes to lose.  The agony of defeat is not a good feeling.  A tough loss, whether it is a game or life can make you want to go crawl under a rock.

The sting of a loss can make the toughest and bravest have "temporary insanity" of low self esteem and depression.

We all can succumb to "Bradying" or pouting when things don't go right or go south.

But just like Tom Brady, we have to remind ourselves that we have been "here" before, and we have a lot to look forward to in the future, and in the other areas of our lives.

The situation may have been a big battle, but it was not the war.  Let the successes of yesterday and the potential of tomorrow pull us back up and cause us to stop pouting.

"Word Power"

In the bible, there is a scripture that says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.  It is my observation that this notion holds to be very true. 

You see, words and thoughts have power.  Power to make us form decisions, make choices, and take actions that will have a lasting effect on the rest of our lives.  It's called the power of intention.  Many of us "intend" things into our lives unknowingly by the words we say.  What we think and say expands, and shows up in our lives as we repeat this process with more frequency and intensity.

Sadly, I was recently reminded of this principle with the recent death of football legend, Joe Paterno.  As one of the greatest coaches of all time, Joe Paterno was known as a man of character, and his words have been quoted many times over the years.

But Joe Paterno once said he’d die without football in his life. Now, only 74 days after he was fired as head football coach at Penn State University, where the beloved coach stood on the field for 62 seasons, Paterno has died of complications from lung cancer.

Words have power.  They set the atmosphere for the "perfect storm" to happen and bring what we have intended to pass.  Let us me be mindful to watch what we think and say.