"Offended By God"

I couldn't believe it.  This can't be right.  "Something" must be wrong.  I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.

You see, at this particular point in my life, I thought I had it all together with my relationship with Christ.  I went to church, prayed, read my bible, fasted, taught bible study, etc......  I felt that I had faith, and a pretty good relationship with the Lord.

What I couldn't understand is why the closer I got to the Lord, the worst things started going for me.  I had basically left a career, to devote my time to ministry and fulfilling His purpose for my life.

My faith was running low.  The pressure of being a husband, a father, and provider was looming.  And to top it all off, the lack of what I thought was success in ministry caused me to doubt the whole reason I was going through all this in the first place.

Cars started going, accounts got closed, and relationships were strained.  Then--- I got angry, no, I got offended.  Offended by God.  How could He allow someone who had given his life to Him and His will allow me to go through all this?  How come I wasn't being delivered from this?  I could count off and quote a dozen scriptures that said I "win"!

I was so offended, that I questioned my calling, I questioned "Church", and I questioned what being a follower of Christ was really all about.  As I evaluated all of these things, I decided that I was going to have a relationship with God, "by myself", and "my way".

My perception got distorted.  I started thinking, "well, since God isn't going to help me, I have to do things my own the best way I can."  I felt alone, and "forced" to do things my way.

What I didn't realize is that I was being tested.  The things I was going through, were the training grounds for my assignment in life.  The hardships were building a platform that would last, for me to stand on.  But, I failed the test, and went through even more things than I had to, and longer than I had to.  I had become the "big fifth grader".  I had "stuck", and had to repeat the "spiritual semester" of my life.

You see, as many scriptures that I had that said I shouldn't have gone through this,  there were an equal amount, or more, of scriptures that said that I had to go through this!

What I am suggesting is that we don't get offended by God when we go through things, or if we go through things a lot longer than we think we should.  God is testing us, training us, and building us up for our assignments in life.

The bible says that we must endure hardship, persevere, and trust in Lord with all our heart.  What I learned, was if I would have held on a little longer,  kept my faith, and persevered, deliverance was just around the corner.

In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16:33