"A Chance To Be A Woman"

Life, when does the fun start?  It's a question that many of us ask ourselves, God, or life itself.

With a mind full of urgent things that you "have" to do, comes a heart full of important things that you "want" to do.  How many of us have a mental cart, bucket, or wish list of things that we want to do but just can't seem to get a chance?

Consider this situation: A young woman graduates from high school and starts college soon after.  She grew up in a single parent home, being raised by her mother.

Freshman year is exciting!  The icebreakers, the parties, the freedom, and the boys!  Ah yes, the boys. She starts seeing a fellow male college student and ends up getting pregnant. Because of the situation, she decides that it is best that she drop to part time classes so she can work and take care of her child.  The boyfriend bails and she is forced to raise a baby on her own.

In less than 1 year, she goes from being a young woman with her whole life ahead of her, to being a single mother, father, and head of her household.  Fast forward a couple of years, and the roles mentioned earlier start to take a toll.  She feels that with all the roles and responsibilities that she has missed her chance.  The critical time period before being a mother, stand-in father, provider, protector and head of household.  The time of discovery where you have the chance to just be a woman.

Now this is not to condone the mothers who leave their kids with whoever so they can go to the club every weekend.  

But everyone needs a break.  Whether it's a day or an hour where you can put your roles and your armor down and just be and do "you".

I encourage women to make smart life decisions and no matter what season of life you are in, take a chance, a chance to be a woman.

"Why Fathers Leave"

Yesterday, I took my son to the movies on one of our many Father-Son days. My son and I are big fans and followers of Marvel Comics movies.  This time it was Captain America.

On our way home I thought about how much my son valued having these Father-Son days.  I wondered what he would think if I told him that we were not having days like this anymore.  Thinking about how devastated he would be, I thought about how this would affect me also.

Sometimes these outings are a huge sacrifice of time and money, but I understand the value and significance of spending time with my son.

Not too many men talk about it, but it is a big sacrifice and responsibility being a father.  I don't think that  fathers get the credit that they deserve.  Just watch at the end of a big sports event, and you will hear a player shout out, "hi mom"!

This is not a list of excuses for a man to leave his kids, but a few areas where men struggle, that needs to be addressed. A lot of men feel this way, but will never tell you. So I decided to list the top reasons that fathers leave the home:

Money-  One of the most stressful things about being a father, a husband, and head of the household is being a provider.  A lot of men identify who they are with what they do, and if they aren't able to provide, or feel as if they are being shown up by the woman, this is a horrible feeling.  One of the worst things in the world to a man is the feeling of not being able to provide.  The guilt, shame, and embarrassment can drive a man to find a reason why "things aren't working out" and leave.

Respect-  It is my opinion that this is the most misunderstood area of relationships with women.   A man wants to be loved and respected.  Once a man has lost the respect of his partner or children,  his mind has left the household and his body will eventually follow.

Children out of wedlock-  I don't think I can explain this any clearer than this: marriage is a good thing!  For some reason, it is so much harder to stay together when you have a child or children out of wedlock.  I am not sure if it is the pressure of being together because of the children, or the lack of the commitment of marriage that makes things fall apart.

Lack of Father/Mentor-  This is last but certainly not least on the list. It is in my opinion, that this is the biggest factor why men leave the home. They don't have an example, mentor, or someone to come to for advice.  It sounds like the weakest copout, but many young fathers just simply don't know what to do.

This also has an effect on the women in the relationship too. By no means am I saying it's the woman's fault, but a young girl raised in a home without a father often grows up to be a woman not knowing how to treat and support a husband or mate.

No matter if one of these reasons applies or all or these reasons apply, it is always worth it to never leave and not take care of your kids!  No guilt, embarrassment, or difficulties hurt worse than a child growing up without a father.

Hang in there fathers.  Other fathers are going through the same situations, but they are doing just that; going through them.

Never make a permanent decision for a temporary problem. - Miles Monroe